My guest today is Margo Bond Collins’ whose debut novel, LEGALLY UNDEAD, released in late May from World Weaver Press. Her character Elle Dupree did not get the memo that her fiancé wanted to be a vampire more than he wanted to be her husband. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned – in fact Margo share some hard won wisdom just in case your potential partner in life exhibits any of the signs.
Here’s a bit about the book. And be sure to scroll down to enter the giveaway for a paperback copy.
A reluctant vampire hunter, stalking New York City as only a scorned bride can.
Elle Dupree has her life all figured out: first a wedding, then her Ph.D., then swank faculty parties where she’ll serve wine and cheese and introduce people to her husband the lawyer.
But those plans disintegrate when she walks in on a vampire sucking the blood from her fiancé, Greg. Horrified, she screams and runs—not away from the vampire, but toward it, brandishing a wooden letter opener.
As she slams the improvised stake into the vampire’s heart, a team of black-clad men bursts into the apartment. Turning to face them, Elle realizes Greg’s body is gone—and her perfect life falls apart.
Top Five Ways to Tell if Your Fiancé Would Rather Be a Bloodsucking Fiend
by Margo Bond Collins
In Legally Undead, history graduate student Elle Dupree is cheerfully planning her wedding to her fiancé Greg, but those plans are trashed when she comes home to find him being turned into a vampire—and she quickly discovers that vampirism is a choice Greg made. So in addition to having to deal with the fact that vampires are real, she’s left with some pretty difficult realizations—not least of which is the knowledge that her fiancé would rather be a vampire than marry her, and she never saw it coming. So for today’s guest post, I’m sharing Elle’s list of warning signs that your beloved might considering joining the ranks of the undead:
1. You find blood on his collar. Forget worrying about lipstick on the collar—blood is the real giveaway here. He might try to tell you that he cut himself shaving. Don’t buy it. Blood on the collar is a clear sign that your boyfriend is letting creatures of the night snack on him when you’re not around.
2. He’s recently accepted a position at a prestigious New York law firm. While this is not enough in itself to suggest a liaison with the evil undead, when combined with other elements on this list, it might suggest a tendency to prefer the company of bloodsucking fiends.
3. He often works late. Again, by itself this is not incriminatory. But we all know that vampires need darkness, and what better excuse for meeting up with these demons than “I have to work late”?
4. He suddenly develops a preference for wearing only black, white, and red. These kinds of sartorial changes might initially seem to be connected to that new job—a new dark suit, white shirt, and blood-red tie? Those could simply be a sign of his desire to succeed. But they could also indicate a deeper desire to imitate the fashion choices of creepy B-movie vampires everywhere.
5. You come home to find a creature of the night draining him. Like Elle, you might initially be inclined to jump in and stake the vampire, thereby saving your one and only. But it might be worthwhile to hang back for a moment and watch. Does your dearly beloved seem to be enjoying the process? Is he fighting back? If not, you may have walked in on a voluntary turning.
Remember, if you think your beau might prefer the tortures of the damned to pledging his life to yours, there’s help available . . . but if you can’t find that help quickly enough, you can always do what Elle did, and pick up a stake to track his ass down.
Margo! THANKS for the guest post and to World Weaver Press for the giveaway! It’s always good to know the signs that we are not the number one person in our loved one’s life. We all deserve to be someone’s one and only!
The worst thing about vampires is that they’re dead. That whole wanting to suck your blood business runs a close second, but for sheer creepiness, it’s the dead bit that gets me every time. They’re up and walking around and talking and sucking blood, but they’re dead. And then there’s the whole terminology problem–how can you kill something that’s already dead? It’s just wrong.
I was twenty-four the first time I . . . destroyed? dispatched? . . . a vampire. That’s when I found out that all the books and movies are wrong. When you stick a wooden stake into their hearts, vampires don’t disintegrate into dust. They don’t explode. They don’t spew blood everywhere. They just look surprised, groan, and collapse into a pile of corpse. But at least they lie still then, like corpses are supposed to.
Since that first kill (I might as well use the word–there really isn’t a better one), I’ve discovered that only if you’re lucky do vampires look surprised before they groan and fall down. If you’re unlucky and miss the heart, they look angry. And then they fight.
There are the other usual ways to kill vampires, of course, but these other ways can get a bit complicated. Vampires are notoriously difficult to trick into sunlight. They have an uncanny ability to sense when there’s any sunlight within miles of them, and they’re awfully good at hiding from it. Holy water doesn’t kill them; it just distracts them for a while, and then they get that angry look again. And it takes a pretty big blade to cut off someone’s head–even an already dead someone–and carrying a great big knife around New York City, even the Bronx, is a sure way to get arrested. Nope, pointy sticks are the best way to go, all the way around.
My own pointy stick is actually more of a little knife with wood inlay on the blade–the metal makes it slide in easier. I had the knife specially made by an old Italian guy in just about the only ratty part of Westchester, north of the city. I tried to order one off the internet, but it turns out that while it’s easy to find wood-inlay handles, the blades themselves tend to be metal. Fat lot those people know.
But I wasn’t thinking any of this when I pulled the knife out of the body on the ground. I was thinking something more along the lines of “Oh, bloody hell. Not again.”
Legally Undead Trailer:
About the Author
Margo Bond Collins is the author of a number of novels, including Waking Up Dead, Fairy, Texas, and Legally Undead (forthcoming May 27, 2014). She lives in Texas with her husband, their daughter, and several spoiled pets. She teaches college-level English courses online, though writing fiction is her first love. She enjoys reading urban fantasy and paranormal fiction of any genre and spends most of her free time daydreaming about vampires, ghosts, zombies, werewolves, and other monsters.
Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Kobo
Amazon Author Page: https://www.amazon.com/author/margobondcollins
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MargoBondCollin @MargoBondCollin
Goodreads Author Page: http://www.goodreads.com/vampirarchy
Facebook Author Page: https://www.facebook.com/MargoBondCollins
Be sure to add Legally Undead to your Goodreads bookshelves: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18366353-legally-undead
Publisher is sending out the prize of a paperback copy of LEGALLY UNDEAD to one winner, 18 or older, in US or Canada. Rules, Terms and conditions are on the form.
While you must use the form to record your entry, be sure to comment here on the blog and not in the rafflecopter form for your entries to count.
You do need to comment to enter, and you may comment on anything about this book or vampires that is appropriate and meaningful, but if you’d like some topic ideas here are some to choose from:
- Margo’s shared some signs that a man just isn’t who you think he is. What would YOU look for to see if a potential partner is not being honest with you?
- Would a partner wanting to be a vampire be a deal breaker for you, or if he didn’t have to suck you dry, could you live with it?
- If you were writing vampires what would they be like (killers or just a bit thirsty? Sparkly, wan, super strong, sexy, horrific, etc.)
THANKS FOR COMING BY!